Giving AFTER getting

So today is Giving Tuesday. 

Let’s see.... we have a day of giving thanks which (for many) turns into a day of gluttony. Then immediately after being thankful, we turn straight into greed (all in the good name of saving money and selfishly buying gifts for others). Then there is Small Business Saturday (which I am fully supportive of). After all those intense shopping days, thank goodness they give us one down day to recover but that day is still filled with scouring the internet trying to find the other things on your list. Then good ole Cyber Monday where we are back in full swing buying, buying, buying (selfishly for others of course). So today is the day where we give to others in need (right after we just emptied our pockets and filled our homes with things for our loved ones and friends). 

Do we think this day might be due to feeling slightly guilty? I have no idea but I think this is a bit half a** backwards. Why should the people who have much much less wait around to get the leftover scraps from our table? These aren't animals, these are human beings who are made in God's image and deserve to be loved and served just as much as us! 

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying there is anything wrong with enjoying a great meal with your family or getting great deals of gifts for the ones you love… NOT. SAYING. THAT. AT. ALL!! I am also not belittling or ignoring all the wonderful things people do for those in need during the holidays. This is just about perspective. All I am saying is we should give to those who have less the FIRST portions of what we have, not the scraps. Be humble and give to those you don’t know but who you know needs it more than you. Once you have done that, then (I feel) you will be able to make your list with the right perspective and also pick out gifts for your loved ones with that same mindset. Your loved ones may not get the very first things on their list (since you gave to others first) but I think this would be a valuable lesson to all (especially children) that getting gifts is a privilege, not a right (I sound like my dad). 

So I don’t believe it should be Giving Tuesday and there definitely shouldn’t be Black Friday!! There should be Thanksgiving then immediately Giving Friday. Continue with the giving theme. Be thankful for what you have then GIVE to others out of that gratitude and humbleness. Your holidays may have a completely different tone if it is done this way. (Just my theory, but worth a shot). 

 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:31-40)

When it all goes to....

One of the first things we learn about this world is that it is broken. People do things wrong, things don’t end up the way we want them to and many times, we don’t have control over it. Life isn’t perfect and it’s not always fair. I am pretty sure you are reading this thinking ‘you’re preaching to the choir!’ with a million examples running through your head. Isn’t it sad how we can think of a million examples of how things have gone “wrong” but struggle to come up with examples of how things went the way they should….?

But think about this…

God has infinite examples of how things turned out as planned and zero examples of how things went “wrong”. 

It is crazy and unfathomable to think that there is nothing to God that has gone wrong…ZERO, ZILCH, NADA. According to God, everything has gone perfectly. To our human minds (what we know of this world) that just isn’t possible! Look at all the bad things in this world! There are people who kill, steal, cheat, destroy things and other people. There is cancer and sickness. There are people on the streets, without a home or food. How could God possibly think this is perfect??

Let me start off first by saying: God isn’t ignorant! He is omniscient- all knowing. He is fully aware of the pain and suffering in this world. If he didn’t know about the sin that has infected us, then he wouldn’t have sacrificed his son for our sake. He would have let him stay in Heaven and not bothered. Jesus is proof that God knows, cares, and wants to make it “right.”

Now you may be thinking…. ‘Woah, wait, I thought God had a perfect track record. If everything is perfect to him…then what is there to make ‘right’?’

Very valid question! And to avoid us getting into a circular argument, I will say this: Jesus wasn’t plan B! Things didn’t go wrong and God needed to come up with a way to fix it. Jesus was the plan ALL ALONG. This world was God’s plan since forever. 

The question that follows after that is…. Ok, well then why would God plan this?? I mean…If I was creating the world, I would not have planned this!!

Again, valid question! I am here to tell you… I don’t know. I don’t know the mind of God…none of us know. But my best guess is that God didn’t want people who were robots, programmed to love and follow him. He wanted people who chose to do so. In order for that to happen, there had to be another option for us. God created us with minds and the ability to make decisions. He gave us free will so we will be able to exercise and use what he gave us. 

When I think about this- what comes to mind is the movie When in Rome. In the movie, Beth (Kristen Bell) goes to Rome for her little sister’s wedding. While there she takes coins out of the fount de amore (fountain of love). When she does this, the men who threw the coins in the fountain were put under a spell and were instantly in love with her. They started following and harassing her. Beth ends up falling for a guy whom she believes is under the spell. Her sister tells her the way to break the spell is to personally put the coins back in the fountain or give the coins back to the owners. “Return the coins, return the love.” Upon hearing this, Beth’s assistant and friend Stacy takes the coins and hides them from her. Desperate to break the insanity and the spell, Beth begs Stacy for the coins. She knows returning the coins means she will lose the man she has fallen for. Stacy stays, “But Beth look at what’s happened…” Beth replies, “But if I take his love against his will, then it’s not really love.” (I may be butchering it, but you get the point).

I think this is how God sees us. If we loved him because we didn’t have a choice….then it’s not really love. You wouldn’t want your significant other to love you because they were forced to, or had no choice. No, you would rather them choose to love you. 

So God didn’t have to come up with a plan B. It was all designed intentionally and with purpose. Although we may not understand exactly why it is the way it is, we do know we have a God who is in control and doesn’t make mistakes. To us, we see mistake after mistake in our lives; but God sees his plan unfolding how he intended. Whenever we make a “mistake” God’s there with his hand in it, using the “mistake” for his glory and our good.

I am sure you have heard the saying: You plan, God laughs.

It is absolutely true! To be perfectly honest, God doesn’t care about your plan. We may think we have our best interest at heart but really we don’t, God does! We are incredibly flawed humans and any plan we make or idea we have about our lives…God has something better in mind. I know many of you are sitting there thinking, “I know that is true but I just don’t see it” or “I really wish I could believe that, but it is really hard to trust God when my life has gone as it has.” 

Let me be the first to say, I am right there with you! I accepted Christ into my life when I was 4 years old and although my life hasn’t been perfect, it is definitely better than the majority of this world and I am exceedingly blessed. But as I said, my life isn’t perfect. Things haven’t gone “the right way” and I have been angry at God many times. In the low points I have cried to God asking him why He has done this! Why is He letting this happen to His child! Why isn’t He snapping His fingers and fixing this!

In those moments I think of the story of Job. Many of you may know the story but in essence Job was a God fearing man who lost everything. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING!!! Job had 7 sons and 3 daughters. He had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 oxen, 500 donkeys, and a large number of servants. One day a messenger came to Job and told him the oxen and donkeys had been taken and the servants who were watching them had been killed. While the messenger was talking, another arrived to tell Job the sheep and servants watching them had been burned from fire that fell from the sky. While this messenger was speaking, another arrived to tell Job the camels had been taken and the servants who watched them were killed. And again, as that messenger was speaking, another arrived to tell Job a strong wind collapsed the walls of his eldest son’s house and all his children were dead. According to the Bible, Job was a righteous man and did not deserve what happened to him. All of this happened in ONE day! And not spaced out within the day but within minutes he finds out everything he had was gone! Talk about the worst day ever! Amazingly this was Job’s response:

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Are you kidding me?! That is astounding! That response is NOT NORMAL! In chapter 2 of Job, Job’s health was taken from him too. He was inflicted with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. His wife advised him to curse God and die. Luckily, he did not listen to her. He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all of this, Job did not sin! Despite the literal hell Job was facing in his life, he knew the goodness of God. Now, he wasn’t perfect; Job did curse the day he was born and complain to God. He asked many questions to God about why this was happening. He claimed injustice that God lets wicked people prosper and innocent people suffer (sounds very familiar to conversations today). God then asks a series of rhetorical questions to show Job how little he knows about how much power God has. In the end, God gave Job everything back plus some! So whenever you think you are having a bad day….just remember, it can’t be as bad as the day Job had. 

In every one of those low moment God has told me 2 things:

1.  My grace is sufficient
2.  I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

      Every single time, I have been annoyed with His answer. But I know it is true. I know my God is perfect! He is faithful. He is able. He is in control. If He could create the universe and everything in it….how can I doubt He has everything under control? I know sometimes it looks like things have gotten out of hand and God has lost control. But that just isn’t possible. God loves this world more than we will ever know. If He didn’t love, Jesus never would have come. 

                For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only son…. ~John 3:16

The horrific problems in this world isn’t God’s fault, it’s ours. We are the ones who rebelled. We wanted to be our own gods. We thought we knew better. So God has just given us what we wanted. So let’s take the blame off of God. He has a plan and He will restore the world back to its untarnished glory. The tarnish we inflicted! There will be no pain, suffering or evil. 

So let’s recap

1.  The world isn’t perfect.
2. God is perfect
3. We make mistakes
4. God has never made a mistake

Some of us look in the mirror and see imperfections (again, this world isn’t perfect and we aren’t either, so there will be imperfect things about us) but when we see those imperfections, we blame God. We don’t see those things as a result of our rebellion; we think God made a mistake. Again, God has NEVER made a mistake!! And how egotistical is it to think you are just so special that IF God were to make a mistake….He would make it on you! In the history of mankind you got the golden ticket to God’s first mistake. Really? It is not true! 

So next time you see an imperfection- blame sin

Next time you think God has lost control- know he is sovereign 

Next time everything is crashing down and it’s all going to hell- know that the creator of the universe knows you by name, created YOU and has an amazing plan for your life! He will use whatever is going on in your life for HIS glory and YOUR best! 

When those doubts creep in your mind- remind yourself of the truth! 

All in all: RELAX! Everything is fine. God is working for your good. 

One of my favorite songs is All Things Possible by Mark Shultz. My favorite line in the song is:

“So my heart will believe, if I wait I will see, my God doing what only He can do”

Take some time to marinate on that!

The “marry your best friend” advice

      Ok, so I am 99.9% sure I am not the only one who has heard this advice before. Actually, scratch that, I am 100% sure because my friends have had it said to them before.

It has been 2 months since I have last blogged and a few days ago I asked God to put something on my heart to write about. Within a few hours this popped in my head and I have been stewing over it since. 

       For whatever the reason, humans are able to understand how many things work in this world. We have been able to invent millions of things to help our lives and we are also able to learn and understand words, numbers, formulas, science, abstract ideas, etc. However, when it comes to relationships, it is just too difficult to understand. This is why there is an entire section at Barnes & Noble about relationships because apparently we suck at them and need help from someone we have never met, yet trust to give us advice.

I think today we so desperately want a clear cut and dry way to explain relationships or what to do with them. So someone devised this one-size-fits-all advice for everyone. 

“Marry your best friend”

      Ummm, somehow I don’t think a one-size-fits-all answer is going to work when it comes to who to marry. Now, I know what this advice is really saying. It is saying the person you marry should be your best friend but that is NOT what it is saying.

 

This advice makes it seem like if you are having a tough time deciding if you should marry someone or not, all you have to do is ask yourself, “is this person my best friend?” If the answer is yes, then start picking out a china pattern. 

      I’m going to go out on a limb and say that is not a smart decision. Why? Because just because someone is your “best friend” at the moment, doesn’t mean they should be your life partner. I can say this from personal experience! I was dating someone and he was my best friend! We talked about anything and everything. So the natural conclusion from the “marry your best friend” advice was that we were to get married. 

The fact of the matter is, people come in and out of your life for different reasons and in different seasons. Just because this is the person who is your best friend right now, doesn’t translate to a lifelong commitment. I have seen numerous times people who were in a relationship and broke it off, just to get back together because “they missed the friendship they had”. 

      Again, we need to distinguish friendship from life partner. There are some people who can ONLY be friends and NOTHING more! They tried the more, it didn’t work but they believe the friendship they miss means they should be more. This belief will lead back into another relationship that is not going to lead to the outcome they assume. 

So what should we do? What advice should we be getting?

What my mom told me was this:

Walk the relationship out. Just keep going down the path and if God tells you to stop then there is your answer. If he doesn’t say stop then get married.

I hated this when she said it to me because I wanted to know the end result beforehand so I could save myself the time and effort. However, no matter the outcome we learn valuable lessons we wouldn’t have learned if we hadn’t walked the path. If this relationship is not what God desires for you long term then he WILL bring an end to it.

      My mom also told me to have a question. A personal question that will help me decide if this person is the person I should marry. This is not easy to do and no one can help you with it. You have to look at yourself and try to examine what is most important to you. This question has to be specific enough to only be able to be answered ‘yes’ by one person. 

I was able to find a question for me (and no I am not saying). I challenge you to come up with a question for yourself. Maybe it will come immediately and maybe it will take some time but it makes it personal, not a one-size-fits-all answer. 

       In the end, your life partner will end up being your best friend. BUT your best friend doesn’t mean your life partner. The only way to tell the difference is walking the path of a relationship and having your question in hand!

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
    by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love
    until it so desires.     ~ Song of Solomon 2:7

Do two walk together
    unless they have agreed to do so?    ~ Amos 3:3

You know...that other guy...the enemy

In the church today I feel the focus is mostly on who God is, who Jesus is, how we should follow them and how we should live. And although these are wonderful things to preach on and hear about, I feel there is a very important topic the church has mostly neglected to talk about- and that would be Satan.

Spiritual battles are real. I know in our cozy, American life that doesn’t seem like a reality. Our lives are pretty great in comparison and we haven’t encountered mega disasters. However, in other parts of the world spiritual battles are very real. Just think about all the unrest in many of the Middle Eastern countries today. In America, we see things like that on the news and we can think… “How can God be good when things are so bad?” “Where is God in all of this?” 

Some will answer by saying “Well, people sin” or “Satan is at work, they need Jesus” very nonchalantly! I don’t think Satan should be something we should take nonchalantly! I know we have a tendency to separate ourselves from what is happening in other countries. It is hard to make it part of your reality when it is not near you. However, Sin is everywhere! And Satan is at work. He is fully present in America and in each of our lives….even though the effects of his efforts are not as obvious! 

There is always a spiritual battle going on! The war against “good and evil” is constant and the war is personal. God wants you….but so does Satan. God knows you….but so does Satan. It says in 2 Corinthians 11:14 – “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light”.  He is deceptive and knows your weaknesses. Satan can play you effortlessly and you have no idea you are being played with. 

When things are going great in our life, often times we don’t acknowledge God in it. However, when things are going badly, we see that as God “punishing” us. “Obviously I have upset God and he is making me pay.” Why are we so quick to neglect the reality of Satan? God is for us, not against us. All good things come from the Lord. He never brings us harm. Any trial we experience in life is not from God, it is from the effects of sin and Satan. However…God will use those trials to make you better, shape you into who he wants you to be and ultimately bring him glory. 

We have to be especially careful in life when things don’t turn out exactly how we planned. We can be very tempted to say “oh well I guess it wasn’t what God had planned.” That may be true, but another possible explanation is that Satan has found his way into that situation and used his tricks to tear down or detour what God was doing. Satan’s goal is to get us off course and cause separation. Of course, any success he has is short termed. God is ultimately in control and will get his way. See Satan will win the battle but he won’t win the war. So be extremely careful not to give up or assume it wasn’t meant to be. 

I think it is time we wake up and open our eyes to the reality that there is a REAL, CREATED BEING who is evil, manipulative, sly, full of darkness, hatred and who wants nothing more than to steal, kill and destroy us. He is the father of lies and leads an army of demons. We do have God’s promise that he will protect us and that he has plans for us that are good and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). But don’t forget that there is still a man whose wicked ways impact our lives.